I’ve Been Through a Lot, But I’m Still Here

Sometimes I look back over my life and it is hard for even me to believe how much I have been through.

There have been days when I struggled.

Weeks when everything felt heavy.

Months when I wondered when things were going to get easier.

And there have been years in my past when surviving was about all I knew how to do.

I have lived through things that changed me. I have been hurt by people who should have loved me, protected me, cared about what they were doing to me, or at the very least cared about the pain they left behind.

Some of those people do not care.

They never did.

And they probably never will.

That used to be much harder for me to accept.

For a long time, I think part of me wanted people to understand what they had done. I wanted them to care that they had hurt me. Maybe I wanted an apology, accountability, or at least some sign that my pain mattered to them.

But I have learned something over the years.

I cannot make someone care.

I cannot make someone love me the way I deserved to be loved.

And I cannot keep hurting myself trying to get love, understanding, or accountability from people who have already shown me they are unwilling to give it.

Pain Has Taught Me Too

I would never say I am thankful for everything I have been through.

Some things should never have happened.

But since I cannot change my past, I have tried to use what I lived through as teaching moments.

The people who did not love me taught me something about love.

They taught me that I no longer have to keep people in my life simply because I love them.

They taught me that love without respect is not enough.

They taught me that constantly being hurt, disappointed, used, dismissed, or taken for granted is not something I have to accept just to keep someone in my life.

I spent too many years believing I had to hold on.

Now I know I can let go.

I Still Love Deeply

One thing pain did not take away from me is my ability to care.

When I am on your side and you are on mine, I care deeply.

I will support you.

I will encourage you.

I will worry about you.

I will want good things for you.

I will stand beside the people I care about through some very difficult things.

That part of me has not changed.

But something else has.

I no longer believe loving someone means allowing them to use me.

I do not believe caring about someone requires me to repeatedly accept disrespect.

And I do not believe I have to keep proving my love to people who make very little effort to show that they care about me.

I can love someone and still know they are not healthy for my life.

I can care and still walk away.

I can wish someone well from a distance.

And sometimes I can simply accept that a relationship has run its course.

Not Everything Can Hurt Me Like It Used To

There are still people who try to hurt me.

There are still words that sting.

There are still situations that get to me.

I am human.

I am not going to pretend that I have reached some place where nothing bothers me anymore.

I still have my days.

Sometimes I have my weeks.

Life can still become overwhelming, and old wounds can still hurt when something touches them in just the wrong place.

But there is a difference now.

Not many things can hurt me the way they once could.

I have already survived too much.

I know I can get back up because I have done it before.

I know someone’s rejection does not determine my worth.

I know another person’s inability to love me does not mean I am unlovable.

I know losing someone who continually hurts me is not always a loss.

And I know protecting myself does not make me cruel.

I Am Still Learning

I have not figured everything out.

Healing has never been a straight line for me.

There have been times when I thought I was doing better and something happened that knocked me back down.

There have been times when I became tired of always having to be strong.

There have been times when I wanted life to give me a break.

I still have those moments.

But I also know they pass.

Maybe not as quickly as I would like.

Maybe not without tears, anger, exhaustion, or shutting the world out for a little while.

But eventually, I find my way forward again.

I always have.

I Will Survive

My life has taught me that surviving is not about never hurting.

It is not about becoming so strong that nothing reaches you.

And it certainly is not about pretending the past did not matter.

To me, surviving means the things that happened to me do not get to decide everything that comes next.

I can still love.

I can still care.

I can still help other people.

I can take what I have learned through some of the hardest experiences of my life and use it to remind someone else that they are not alone.

But I can do all of that without allowing myself to be used anymore.

I can have a soft heart and stronger boundaries.

I can care deeply and still choose myself when I need to.

I can love people without abandoning myself for them.

And when another difficult day, week, or season comes — because life has taught me that sometimes they will — I know one thing about myself that I did not always know.

I will survive it.

I have survived before.

And I am still here.